This time of year is for coming together, bringing happiness to others, spending time with family and friends and celebrating Christmas! That is for most people….. for people like myself it is about heartache, trying times, and increased anxiety/depression. Or that used to be me. I would avoid parties or get togethers, make excuses for my absence, and have panic attacks at the thought of spending time with others.
This year I have worked very hard on not only my physical self but more my emotional self. I have read various self help books, listened to motivation speakers, experienced a motivational speaker, journaled, meditated and went to the gym and a lot of yoga classes. I am becoming okay with myself not only physically but my full self. I used to feel not worthy of having an opinion, speaking up for myself, deserving of healthy friendships or relationships. I have realized I am worthy, I am loved, and I am so worth of everything!! I deserve the best life I can make out of it.
So last night I attended my work department Christmas party. Now I have been to work holiday parties before but not really interacted due to anxiety and fear of rejection. Which seems so silly since I spend so much time with this awesome group of people. I spend more time with them than my own family so why be anxious or fearful around them. Answer there is no reason!!!
We had a wonderful time full of good food, a lot of laughter, good fellowship, and a gift exchange….. there was also pics, a live Christmas tree, reindeers and WINE! 🙂
Basically, looking back I have made so much progress with allowing myself to be around others, hug others, and just be myself!