A post about nothing and everything at the same time.

Here lately I got back into journaling in an actual journal. I do this mainly when my anxiety is higher than usual.

The last two- three weeks my anxiety has been through the roof due to work, personal stuff, and just the usual over thinking. If you know me personally I tend to focus on what is not going well for me. Right now it’s future finances, my body weight, my cellulite, my house not being clean(I’m completely OCD) and not eating the best. My health is suffering due to the increased stress- I’m bloated, fatigued, have acne, my hair is falling out and of course I’m not sleeping well.

I let the smallest things bother me- my dog getting out of her kennel, my day not going my way, taking something said to me personally, the list goes on. I lay in bed at night thinking of instances I should have completed differently, said something differently, had more patience in certain situations, payed attention more…. a day in my head is very draining, heck an hour in my head is draining. I’m more mentally fatigued, my patience is thin, my body is tired….. luckily I have a day off at the end of the week. Sometimes a day to myself not having anything scheduled is what I need. A day to write, journal, blog, read and play with Ellie Mae.

I am trying to stay positive instead of letting my anxiety get to me. I’ve been going to the gym more consistently, working out at home, and going back to yoga class which I am so excited about. I feel at peace when I go to a class and more grounded. I feel like I can conquer anything after class. My world makes sense, my dreams are attainable, my life is not as bad as I think. This most likely will not make sense to you…..

Oh, on a positive note I need to brag on my child.

I probably scared some of y’all! I’m talking about my fur baby! Well first let me tell y’all that she knows how to open her kennel door- I’m not bragging about that. When I came home that day, she did not have any accidents and my house was intact. We are now on day two of the same thing. I’m thinking about taking her kennel down and putting it in a closet. I think she is ready to stay out while I’m gone at work. This is a big deal for her and also me…. me being a complete control freak. By keeping her in the kennel, I feel as if I’m controlling her and her accidents- also keeping my house spotless. I think she will be much happier free in the house during the day… of course the bedrooms are closed.

Look at her! ❤️ She makes my heart happy as well as other people 🙂

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