Random Thoughts Tuesday

Maybe I’ll start a hashtag on Instagram #randomthoughtstuesday

As of this weekend, I’m more ADD than I have been in a long time. I can’t concentrate- not at work, not at home, not even in yoga class…. no, I will not eat green eggs and ham! Ha! See complete randomness.

To tell y’all the truth, I have started to write five different blog posts in my journal…and I can’t seem to focus to finish one of the posts. Sometimes I write them in a journal before typing it on here to get my thoughts organized. This week I have had severe difficulty with organization of my thoughts. I honestly think it’s my increased anxiety. See, I haven’t been working out consistently due to low back/hip pain. I have been consistent with seeing a chiropractor a couple times a week and being a good patient and doing stretches consistently. This means I have slowed down on gym time as well as yoga classes. For me this means increased anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Exercise and being active plays a ginormous part in regulating my depression and anxiety along with medication and meditation- looks confusing, eh? I always thought maybe I could get off my medication one day but have come to the realization that my brain chemistry needs it to regulate what my body is missing. So, what I’m saying is I need exercise like I need water and food, without it my mood is off which affects my day. I have been so down on myself the last few weeks- my body image, my life, what I haven’t accomplished…

…but today I went to the gym! Last Sunday I went to a gentle yoga class and Monday/Tuesday I took Ellie Mae for a walk in the neighborhood. This has greatly increased my mood! I feel super happy at the moment.

Now, another thing that controls my life is my OCD nature of constantly cleaning my house. It’s ridiculous how many times I sweep in a day, constantly dusting, vacuuming the couches and rugs, etc. Let’s get real, I live by myself with my dog… my duplex stays very clean. This obsession I have has always been a coping mechanism…procrastination. I have things that do need to get done. I have a list but always end up cleaning to avoid this… this was brought to my attention when I was in therapy many years ago. I brushed it off at that point… I didn’t think it was an issue to be so clean, but now I see that it gets in the way of me living my life. So, I set up certain days that I will clean so I can have more time to blog, write, spend time with family/friends/boyfriend and Ellie Mae. Hopefully this will help free up some time since I always think I don’t have enough time!

Also another random thought for today is… I am thinking about adding running to my list of work out and training for a 5k. I figured setting a goal will definitely help me stay focused. Since I need to slow down with doing yoga and I need something to help with depression I thought running would be a good option. We will see how that goes…

Another random thought- started a coffee subscription from porch culture coffee. Super excited about this and we all know I have a slight addiction to coffee… just a slight addiction.

Oh speaking of yoga, I’m going to an aerial yoga class Friday night with a special guest instructor- super excited about this!!

Well, that is enough randomness for today! ❤️ much love

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therealjordansparks

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