This is something that I’ve felt for a really long time. I’ll give you some examples since it’s difficult to explain.
Being in everyone’s way- constant moving to appease others. Even though I may have been in that place first, I’ll move to make everyone else happy.
I do it at work constantly.
I did it in yoga class today.
I do it in retail stores.
The list goes on….
As a little girl I was quiet, minded, did what I was told. I never questioned anything.
And then I grew up into an adult with feelings of being never enough, over weight, not pretty enough, not perfect enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough…just not enough.
As a little girl, I never really thought about it much. I just thought I was being polite. As I have increased in age, I still do it. I started really thinking about it. Why do I do this? It has just become natural for me and then I usually say sorry to the person I’m moving for…. like I’m doing something wrong, like I’m in the way.
When did it begin…this feeling of being in the way, of not being enough, of unworthiness?
Now, I have had relationships that have left me with feelings of unworthiness, not enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not athletic enough…
See a pattern here… ENOUGH with not being ENOUGH!
Here lately I have felt a change within myself but it has been an emotional one… full of fighting in my head, my mind trying to convince me of awful things that I think about myself. Taking yoga classes from CommUnity yoga has been a ginormous help for my mindset and soul! It came to be at the perfect time in my life. That’s when people and places usually show up in your life, when it’s time. I have felt my life shift for the last three years now and at this point it’s finally beginning to take off.
Yoga has really helped me with my perspective on my life purpose and gratitude. Monday during yoga class, the intention set was slowing down and feeling enough where you are at that moment. I never feel good enough at any moment but Monday for an hour and fifteen minutes I had purpose, I had strength, I was enough in that moment. I was strong in that moment. I forgot about everything in my mind and focused on myself for that moment… I needed that. I felt ENOUGH the following day. I had purpose at work… I am ENOUGH to be in the space I’m in at EVERY moment. I’m not in anyone’s way… I was in my own way with those feelings of inaccuracies.
The moment in yoga class that really impacted me the most was during a side angle pose. I, of course, was sweating awfully. Sweat dripping down my face, in my eye, in my mouth, onto my yoga mat. As I look up during side angle I catch a glimpse of my bracelet- it has the word ” fearlessness” written on it. That’s when I realized- WOW, I am quite awesome. I am WORTHY. I am STRONG. I am ENOUGH!
So, in conclusion I am starting to see that I have a purpose in my life and that I am enough. Are you having similar feelings at all? If so, I challenge you to dig deep into yourself to find what has you feeling like that and conquer those feelings because you are enough as well!